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Proposal

A girl looks at a mans tattoo: NIKE on his arms, REEBOK on his legs, she screamed when she saw AIDS on his penis.

"Relax" he said, "if it erects, it reads ADIDAS."

15     → Joke


I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?

With any luck, right after it finishes college.

55     → Joke


Proposal

This guy was at work and was really horny, so he told some collegues at work he was going to screw his wife till the dick hurts So when he got home, he found her in bed, got in and screwed her in darkness.

Two hours later, he walks into the bathroom to find his wife in the bathtub who goes: "Shhhh your mom is in bed sleeping"!!

6     → Joke


A young man was hired by a supermarket and reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, then gave him a broom and said,

"Son, your first job will be to sweep out the store."

"But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realise that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom -- I'll show you how."

37     → Joke


A man goes into a drug store and asks the cashier for some condoms. The cashier asks, "What size?"

The man replies, "Size? I didn't know they came in sizes."

"Yes, they do," she says, "What size do you want?"

"Well, gee, I don't know," the man answers.

The lady is used to this, so she tells him to go to the back yard and measure his penis by sticking it into each of the three holes in the fence. While the man is back there, the lady sneaks around to the other side of the fence and spreads her legs behind each hole as the man tests it. When they return, the cashier asks, "What will it be? Small, medium, or large?"

The man replies, "To hell with the condoms, give me a hundred feet of that fence back there!"

48     → Joke


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