Jokes - Lawyers


 


Lawyers · Doctors · Wives · Managers
woman,rosesA doctor, a lawyer and a manager were discussing the relative merits of having a wife or a mistress. The lawyer says: "For sure a mistress is better. If you have a wife and want a divorce, it causes all sorts of legal problems."

The doctor says: "It's better to have a wife because the sense of security lowers your stress and is good for your health."

The manager says: "You're both wrong. It's best to have both so that when the wife thinks you're with the mistress and the mistress thinks you're with your wife - you can go to the office and do some work.
6 Comments · Details
Lawyers · Apple · Hanging · Trees · Deaths
tree.autumnHow is an apple like a lawyer?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
2 Comments · Details


Lawyers · Chiropractors
A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office.

Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line."

"Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"
4 Comments · Details


Lawyers · Oceans · Environmentalists · Dead
What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start! (Unless you are an environmentalist; then you would consider this indiscriminate dumping of hazardous waste.)
2 Comments · Details
Lawyers · Robbers · Money · Banks · Robberies
cashierTwo lawyers are in a bank, when, suddenly, armed robbers burst in, waving guns and yelling for everyone to freeze.

While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the lawyers, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, and other valuables.

While this is going on, one of the lawyers jams something into the other lawyer's hand. Without looking down, the second lawyer whispers, "What is this?"

The first lawyer replies, "It's the $100 I owe you."
2 Comments · Details


Lawyer JokesJokes 16 - 20 of 57