Funny · Short · New · Top
What's the difference between a dead skunk
on the road
and a dead lawyer on the road?
There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
A young lawyer who had taken over his father's practice rushed home totally elated.
, listen, you aren't going to believe this," he said to his father. "I've finally settled that old Whitmore suit."
"Settled it!" bellowed his father. "You bumbling idiot
! We've been living off of that money
for over five years now!"
There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery
, and his wife
was sitting by his side.
His eyes fluttered open and he said: "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again.
His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said: "You're cute!"
Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of "beautiful" it was "cute."
She said: "What happened to 'beautiful'?"
He replied: "The drugs
are wearing off!"
Two lawyers are in a bank
, when, suddenly, armed robbers
burst in, waving guns and yelling for everyone to freeze.
While several of the robbers take the money
from the tellers, others line the customers, including the lawyers, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, and other valuables.
While this is going on, one of the lawyers jams something into the other lawyer's hand. Without looking down, the second lawyer whispers, "What is this?"
The first lawyer replies, "It's the $100 I owe you."