65 jokes about lawyers
17 → Joke
A young lawyer who had taken over his father's practice rushed home totally elated.
, listen, you aren't going to believe this," he said to his father. "I've finally settled that old Whitmore suit."
"Settled it!" bellowed his father. "You bumbling idiot
! We've been living off of that money
for over five years now!"
George30 → Joke
had responded to a call from his lawyer, insisting that they meet at once. He arrived at his lawyer's firm, and was ushered into his office.
"Do you want the bad news
first or the terrible news?" the lawyer asked.
"Well, if those are my choices, I guess I'll take the bad news first."
found a picture
worth a half-million dollars."
"That's the bad news?" George was stunned? "If you call that bad, I can't wait to hear the terrible news."
"The terrible news is that it's of you and your secretary
15 → Joke
A guy walks into a bar
and sees a gorgeous babe nursing a drink. Walking up behind her he says, "Hi, there, good looking'! How's it going'?"
She, having already downed a few power drinks, turned around, faced him, looked him straight in the eye and said: "Listen! I screw anybody, any time, anywhere, your place, front door, back door, it doesn't matter to me. I've been doing it ever since I got out of college. I just flat-ass love it!"
Eyes now wide with interest, he responded, "No kidding! I'm a lawyer, too! What firm are you with?
15 → Joke
How do you save a drowning
1. Take your foot off his head.
him before he hits the water.
16 → Joke
Did you hear about the lawyer from Texas
who was so big when he died that they couldn't find a coffin
big enough to hold the body?
They gave him an enema
and buried him in a shoebox
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