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Lawyer jokes

65 jokes about lawyers



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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline!

18     → Joke


What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.

26     → Joke


A man went into a lawyer's office, and demanded to see the lawyer. He was escorted into the lawyer's office.

The man needed legal help, but he knew how expensive lawyers could be, so he inquired, "Can you tell me how much you charge?"

"Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $500 to answer three questions."

"Don't you think that's an awful lot of money to answer three questions?"

"Yes it is", answered the lawyer, "What's your third question?"

13     → Joke


What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

1) There are some things even a blonde won't do.
2) Something that when it gives you a blow job, it won't stop until it gets blood.

17     → Joke


A young lawyer who had taken over his father's practice rushed home totally elated.

"Dad, listen, you aren't going to believe this," he said to his father. "I've finally settled that old Whitmore suit."

"Settled it!" bellowed his father. "You bumbling idiot! We've been living off of that money for over five years now!"

18     → Joke



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