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Lawyer jokes

67 jokes about lawyers



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A man went into a lawyer's office, and demanded to see the lawyer. He was escorted into the lawyer's office.

The man needed legal help, but he knew how expensive lawyers could be, so he inquired, "Can you tell me how much you charge?"

"Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $500 to answer three questions."

"Don't you think that's an awful lot of money to answer three questions?"

"Yes it is", answered the lawyer, "What's your third question?"

15     money jokes


How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

1) Three. One to prosecute, one to defend, one to screw it the same way they do everything else.
2) How many can you afford?

13     light bulb jokes


What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline!

19     trampoline jokes


What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

1) There are some things even a blonde won't do.
2) Something that when it gives you a blow job, it won't stop until it gets blood.

22     blonde jokes


How do you save a drowning lawyer?

1. Take your foot off his head.
2. Shoot him before he hits the water.

24     drowning jokes






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