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How is an apple like a lawyer?

They both look good hanging from a tree.

32    

tree.spring

money
After drafting a will for an elderly client, the lawyer announced a fee of $100.

The client gave the lawyer a $100 bill.

After the client left, the lawyer saw that the client had in fact paid $200, as two of the client's $100 bills had stuck together.

Looking at the $100 overpayment, an ethical question arose in the lawyer's mind: "Do I tell my partner?"

16    


What's the difference between a dead skunk on the road and a dead lawyer on the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.

7    


money
A man went into a lawyer's office, and demanded to see the lawyer. He was escorted into the lawyer's office.

The man needed legal help, but he knew how expensive lawyers could be, so he inquired, "Can you tell me how much you charge?"

"Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $500 to answer three questions."

"Don't you think that's an awful lot of money to answer three questions?"

"Yes it is", answered the lawyer, "What's your third question?"

8    


girl,sexy
A guy walks into a bar and sees a gorgeous babe nursing a drink. Walking up behind her he says, "Hi, there, good looking'! How's it going'?"

She, having already downed a few power drinks, turned around, faced him, looked him straight in the eye and said: "Listen! I screw anybody, any time, anywhere, your place, front door, back door, it doesn't matter to me. I've been doing it ever since I got out of college. I just flat-ass love it!"

Eyes now wide with interest, he responded, "No kidding! I'm a lawyer, too! What firm are you with?

10    




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