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Lawyer jokes

65 jokes about lawyers


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A lawyer cross-examined the adversary's main witness. "You claim to have stopped by Mrs. Edwards' house just after breakfast. Will you tell the jury what she said?"

"Objection, your honor," shouted the other lawyer.

There then followed a long argument between the lawyers as to whether the question was proper. Finally, after 45 minutes, the judge allowed it.

"So," the first lawyer continued, "Please answer the question: What did Mrs. Edwards say when you went to her house after breakfast on December 3rd?"

"Nothing," said the witness. "No one was home."

11    


What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.

21    


What's the difference between a dead skunk on the road and a dead lawyer on the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.

8    


How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

1) Three. One to prosecute, one to defend, one to screw it the same way they do everything else.
2) How many can you afford?

6    

light bulb

What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline!

14    

shoes,red

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