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Lawyer jokes

65 jokes about lawyers



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How is an apple like a lawyer?

They both look good hanging from a tree.

36     → Joke


What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline!

18     → Joke


What's the difference between a dead skunk on the road and a dead lawyer on the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.

10     → Joke


What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.

24     → Joke


After drafting a will for an elderly client, the lawyer announced a fee of $100.

The client gave the lawyer a $100 bill.

After the client left, the lawyer saw that the client had in fact paid $200, as two of the client's $100 bills had stuck together.

Looking at the $100 overpayment, an ethical question arose in the lawyer's mind: "Do I tell my partner?"

26     → Joke


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