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Did you hear about the terrorists who took a courthouse full of lawyers hostage?

They threatened to release one every hour unless their demands were met.

5    


A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office.

Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line."

"Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"

6    


Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.

15    

shark

What does a lawyer and a sperm have in common?

Both have about a one in 3 million chance of becoming a human being.

21    


What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.

21    


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