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Lawyer jokes

65 jokes about lawyers


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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.

15    

mop,bucket

Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.

15    

shark

A lawyer cross-examined the adversary's main witness. "You claim to have stopped by Mrs. Edwards' house just after breakfast. Will you tell the jury what she said?"

"Objection, your honor," shouted the other lawyer.

There then followed a long argument between the lawyers as to whether the question was proper. Finally, after 45 minutes, the judge allowed it.

"So," the first lawyer continued, "Please answer the question: What did Mrs. Edwards say when you went to her house after breakfast on December 3rd?"

"Nothing," said the witness. "No one was home."

10    


What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.

21    


How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

His lips are moving.

11    




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