Lawyer jokes

65 jokes about lawyers


What's wrong with Lawyer jokes?

Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes.

7     → Joke

Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.

15     → Joke

What does a lawyer and a sperm have in common?

Both have about a one in 3 million chance of becoming a human being.

28     → Joke

You find yourself stuck in a hole with a murderer, a rapist, and a lawyer. You're armed but you only have 2 bullets left, what do you do?

Shoot the lawyer. Twice.

14     → Joke

How is an apple like a lawyer?

They both look good hanging from a tree.

35     → Joke