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Lawyer jokes

65 jokes about lawyers


Did you hear about the terrorists who took a courthouse full of lawyers hostage?

They threatened to release one every hour unless their demands were met.

5     3


What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.

14     7

mop,bucket

A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office.

Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line."

"Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"

6     4


Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.

15     7

shark

Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest Stamps?

They had pictures of lawyers on them and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

12     1




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