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Lawyer jokes

65 jokes about lawyers



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Did you hear about the terrorists who took a courthouse full of lawyers hostage?

They threatened to release one every hour unless their demands were met.

9     → Joke


Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.

18     → Joke


What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start! (Unless you are an environmentalist; then you would consider this indiscriminate dumping of hazardous waste.)

14     → Joke


4 out of 5 doctors say that if they were stranded on a deserted island with no lawyers, they wouldn't need any aspirin.

16     → Joke


How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

1) Three. One to prosecute, one to defend, one to screw it the same way they do everything else.
2) How many can you afford?

13     → Joke



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