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Lawyer jokes

67 jokes about lawyers



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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

His lips are moving.

28     lying jokes


What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.

28     sand jokes


You find yourself stuck in a hole with a murderer, a rapist, and a lawyer. You're armed but you only have 2 bullets left, what do you do?

Shoot the lawyer. Twice.

26     rapist jokes


4 out of 5 doctors say that if they were stranded on a deserted island with no lawyers, they wouldn't need any aspirin.

18     doctor jokes


What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start! (Unless you are an environmentalist; then you would consider this indiscriminate dumping of hazardous waste.)

15     ocean jokes






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