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Lawyer jokes

65 jokes about lawyers


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What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a demon from hell?

Another lawyer.

32    


What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.

18    


Did you hear about the terrorists who took a courthouse full of lawyers hostage?

They threatened to release one every hour unless their demands were met.

5    


A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office.

Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line."

"Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"

6    


4 out of 5 doctors say that if they were stranded on a deserted island with no lawyers, they wouldn't need any aspirin.

11    




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