Lawyer jokes

65 jokes about lawyers


What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a demon from hell?

Another lawyer.

37     → Joke

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

1) Three. One to prosecute, one to defend, one to screw it the same way they do everything else.
2) How many can you afford?

11     → Joke

What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.

24     → Joke

Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest Stamps?

They had pictures of lawyers on them and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

14     → Joke

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

His lips are moving.

19     → Joke