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Lawyer jokes

65 jokes about lawyers



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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.

17     → Joke


Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest Stamps?

They had pictures of lawyers on them and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

14     → Joke


What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.

24     → Joke


You find yourself stuck in a hole with a murderer, a rapist, and a lawyer. You're armed but you only have 2 bullets left, what do you do?

Shoot the lawyer. Twice.

18     → Joke


How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

1) Three. One to prosecute, one to defend, one to screw it the same way they do everything else.
2) How many can you afford?

12     → Joke


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