Landing - 3 jokes
Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing:
"We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces
us to the terminal."
An airliner is coming into land at an airport
obscured by fog. Visibility is practically nil, the ILS system is on the blink, so the pilot
has to land on wits alone. "Flaps, check," he says to the copilot, "Landing Gear, check. Altitude, check. Right, we're going in. Hold on." The plane
lands and comes to a screeching, grinding halt; just short of the edge of the runway
. "Holy Cow!" exclaims the pilot, "This must be the shortest runway I've ever landed on!" The copilot looks left and right and says "Yeah, and about the widest, too ..."
is flying a small, single-engine, charter plane
with a couple of really important executives on board into Seattle
airport. There is fog
so thick that visibility is 40 feet, and his instruments are out. He circles looking for a landmark and after an hour, he is low on fuel and his passengers are very nervous. At last, through a small opening in the fog he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor. Circling, the pilot banks and shouts through his open window: "Hey, where am I?". The solitary office worker replies: "You're in an airplane
.". The pilot immediately executes a swift 275 degree turn and executes a perfect blind landing on the airport's runway five miles away. Just as the plane stops, the engines cough and die from lack of fuel. The stunned passengers ask the pilot how he did it. "Elementary," replies the pilot, "I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100% correct but absolutely useless; therefore, I knew that must be Microsoft
's support office and from there the airport is three minutes away on a course of 87 degrees."