Rules of the lab15 Rule Jokes
1) If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
2) When you don't know what you're doing, do it neatly.
3) Experiments must be reproduceable, they should fail the same way each time.
4) First draw your curves, then plot your data.
5) Experience is directly proportional to equipment ruined.
6) Always keep a record of your data. It indicates that you have been working.
7) To do a lab really well, have your report done well in advance.
8) If you can't get the answer in the usual manner, start at the answer and derive the question.
9) In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
10) Do not believe in miracles--rely on them.
11) Team work is essential, it allows you to blame someone else.
12) All unmarked beakers contain fast-acting, extremely toxic poisons.
13) No experiment is a complete failure. At least it can serve as a negative example.
14) Any delicate and expensive piece of glassware will break before any use can be made of it.
What did one lab rat say to the other?16 Rat Jokes
I've got my scientist so well trained that every time I push the buzzer, he brings me a snack.
Chemist's last words19 Chemist Jokes
1) And now the tasting test ...
2) And now shake it a bit ...
3) In which glass was my mineral water?
4) Why does that stuff burn with a green flame?!?
5) And now the detonating gas problem.
6) This is a completely safe experimental setup.
7) Now you can take the protection window away ...
8) Where do all those holes in my kettle come from?
9) And now a cigarette ...
What is the best way to get to Paradise?14 Paradise Jokes
Turn right and go straight.
You enter the laboratory and see an experiment. How will you know which class is it?9 Science JokesNext page Jokes
If it's green and wiggles, it's biology.
If it stinks, it's chemistry.
If it doesn't work, it's physics.