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Knock knock jokes

Knock knock - 24 jokes



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Boss: "Experts say humor on the job relieves tension in this time of downsizing. Knock! Knock!"

Employee: "Who's there?"

Boss: "Not you anymore!"

5     → Joke


Son: "Daddy, I have to write a special report for school, but I don't know what Politics is."

Father: "Well, let's take our home as an example. I am the bread-winner, so let's call me Capitalism. Your Mum is the administrator of money, so we'll call her Government. We take care of your need, so let's call you The People. We'll call the maid the Working Class and your brother we can call The Future. Do you understand son?"

Son: "I'm not really sure, Dad. I'll have to think about it."

That night awakened by his brother's crying, the boy went to see what was wrong. Discovering that the baby had seriously soiled his diaper, the boy went to his parents' room and found his mother sound asleep. He went to the maid's room, where, peeking through the keyhole, he saw his father in bed with the maid. The boy's knocking went totally unheeded by his father and the maid, so the boy returned to his room and went back to sleep.

The next morning he reported to his father.

Son: "Dad, now I think I understand what Politics is."

Father: "Good son! Can you explain it to me in your own words?"

Son: "Well Dad, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, Government is sound asleep, the People are being completely ignored and the Future is full of Shit."

58     → Joke


Why do doctors slap babies butts right after they are born?

To knock the penises off the smart ones.

41     → Joke


Proposal

A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his community. All went well until he came to one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he knocked several times. Finally, he took out his card, wrote on the back "Revelation 3: 20" and stuck it in the door.

The next day, as he was counting the offering he found his card in the collection plate. Below his message was a notation "Genesis 3: 10." Upon opening his Bible to the passage he let out a roar of laughter.

Revelation 3: 20 reads: (Pastors note) "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If any man hear my voice, and opens the door, I will come into him, and will dine with him, and he with me."

Genesis 3: 10 reads: "And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked."

8     → Joke


A man is lost. He decides to stop and ask for directions at a farm.

Before he knocks on the door, he saw in the window an old, naked couple. The wife was pulling her breasts, and the husband was jerking off. Horrified, the man runs across the street to another house.

The homeowner tells the man, "They're deaf. She's saying 'Milk the cows,' and he's saying 'Go fuck yourself.'"

37     → Joke


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