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    Repairmen · Parrots · Dogs · Killing
    parakeetMrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working. He couldn't accommodate her with an "after-hours" appointment and since she had to go to work, she told him, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dish washer, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check. By the way, I have a large rotweiler inside named Killer; he won't bother you. I also have a parrot, and whatever you do, do not talk to the bird!"

    Well, sure enough the dog, Killer, totally ignored the repairman, but the whole time he was there, the parrot cursed, yelled, screamed, and about drove him nuts.

    As he was ready to leave, he couldn't resist saying, "You stupid bird, why don't you shut up!"

    To which the bird replied, "Killer, get him!"
    1 Comments · Details
    Chuck Norris · Spoons · Killing · Knifes
    Chuck Norris invented the spoon because killing somebody with a knife is too easy.
    2 Comments · Details


    Golf · Ants · Killing
    Two ants were in a sand trap watching a duffer flailing away.

    "Quick," said the one ant to the other. "Get on the ball before he kills us."
    2 Comments · Details

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