Kill jokes

41 jokes about kills


How does a blonde kill a fish?

She drowns it ...



Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?

To stop the snoring before it starts.


3 People get stranded on a desert Island - Charles, Matt and Susan. After a while they realise that they are stuck on this island and naturally things happen between the men and the woman.

This goes on for about a year when Susan feeling really bad about having sex with both Matt and Charles and kills herself.

Charles and Matt are sad. But again after a while nature takes its course.

And again about a year later the boys feel really really bad about what they're doing so finally they decide to bury Susan.


I heard Rex Grossman tried to kill himself after the Super Bowl ...

He couldn't go through with it though. He kept dropping the gun ...


Chuck Norris invented the spoon because killing somebody with a knife is too easy.