70 jokes about ken
29 man jokes
In a train
compartment, there are 3 men
and a ravishing young girl
. The four passengers join in conversation, which very soon turns to the erotic. Then, the young girl proposes, "If each of you will give me $1.00, I will show you my legs."
The men, charmed by this young girl, all pull a buck
out of their wallet. And then the girl pulls up her dress a bit to show her legs. Then she says, "If each of you gentlemen will give me $10.00, I'll show you my thighs,".
And men being what they are, they all pull out a ten dollar bill. The girl pulls up her dress all the way to her legs in full. Conversation continues, and the men, a bit excited, have all taken off their coats. Then the young girl says, "If you will give me $100, I will show you where I was operated on for appendicitis."
All three fork over the money
. The girl then turned to the window and points outside at a building they're passing. "See there in the distance. That's the hospital where I had it done!"
27 golf jokes26 lottery jokes
Did you know that O.J. Simpson, Monica Lewinsky, Ted Kennedy, and President
Bill Clinton are all avid golfers?
O.J.'s a slicer, Monica's a hooker
, Ted Kennedy can't drive over water, and Clinton can't seem to hit the right hole!
20 lawyer jokes
A young lawyer
who had taken over his father's practice rushed home totally elated.
, listen, you aren't going to believe this," he said to his father. "I've finally settled that old Whitmore suit."
"Settled it!" bellowed his father. "You bumbling idiot
! We've been living off of that money
for over five years now!"
26 general jokesNext page Jokes
As a crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a 5-year-old boy
who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum
. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother
does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him.
Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an elderly man in the uniform of an Air Force General
is seen slowly walking forward up the aisle. Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the white-haired, courtly, soft-spoken General leans down and, motioning toward his chest, whispers something into the boy's ear.
Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother's hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt. All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause.
As the General slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the cabin attendants touches his sleeve. "Excuse me, General," she asks quietly, "but could I ask you what magic words you used on that little boy?"
The old man smiles serenely and gently confides, "I showed him my pilot's wings, service stars, and battle ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw one passenger out the plane door on any flight I choose."