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Hint: Joke was recently submitted. Review is in process.
What are the 5 different sizes of a penis?

1. Small.
2. Medium.
3. Large.
4. Oh my God!
5. Holy Fuck! Does that come in white?
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Hint: Joke was recently submitted. Review is in process.
A man goes to a dentist to have a tooth pulled. The dentist pulls out a freezing needle to give the man a shot.

"No way! No needles! I hate needles," the patient said.

The dentist starts to hook up the laughing gas.

The man objects again: "I can't do the gas thing. The thought of having the gas mask on is suffocating me!"

The dentist then asks the patient if he has any objection to taking a pill.

"No objection," the patient says. "I'm fine with pills."

The dentist then returns and says: "Here's a Viagra tablet."

The patient says: "Wow! I didn't know Viagra worked as a pain killer!"

"It doesn't" said the dentist, "But it will give you something to hold on to when I pull your tooth!"
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Hint: Joke was recently submitted. Review is in process.
7 dwarves went to meet the pope. "Go on Dopey, ask" chanted the other 6. "Ok" said Dopey, "Sir, are there nuns in Alaska?"

"Yes" said the pope.

"Go on Dopey, ask him" urged the other 6 dwarves. "Ok" said Dopey, "Sir, are there black nuns in Alaska?".

"Yes there are" said the pope.

"Go on Dopey, ask him" said the others. Dopey blushed and asked "Sir, are there midget nuns in Alaska?"

"No, i don't think so" said the pope.

All 6 of the other dwarves leapt up shouting "Dopey shagged a penguin! Dopey shagged a penguin!"
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Hint: Joke was recently submitted. Review is in process.
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you."
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Hint: Joke was recently submitted. Review is in process.
Paddy goes for a job interview at a blacksmiths.

"Do you have any experience Shoeing horses?"

Paddy replies: "No but I once told a donkey to fuck off!"
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09/27/2009
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