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What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

1) After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
2) A dog only takes a couple of months to train.

28    

man,calling

Why didn't the husband change the baby for a week?

Because the text on the diapers package said '18-40 lbs'.

36    

caveman,television

Why are husbands like lawn mowers?

They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time.

38    

man,calling

What do you do if your best friend runs off with your husband?

Miss her. Pity her.

30    

businessman:2

man,calling
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"

The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?"

The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, "My wife's first husband."

35    


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