Two guys went to a gas station that was holding a contest: a chance to win free sex when you filled your tank. They pumped their gas and went to pay the male attendant.
"I'm thinking of a number between one and ten," he said. "If you guess right, you win free sex."
"Okay," agreed one of the guys, "I guess seven."
"Sorry, I was thinking of eight," replied the attendant.
The next week they tried again. When they went to pay, the attendant told them to pick a number.
"Two!" said the second guy.
"Sorry, it's three, said the attendant. "Come back and try again."
As they walked out to their car, one guy said to the other, "I think this contest is rigged."
"No way," said his buddy. "My wife won twice last week."
The National Poetry Contest had come down to semi-finals between a Yale graduate and a redneck from Wyoming. They were both given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was “Timbuktu”
First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He confidently stepped to the microphone and said:
“Slowly across the desert sand Trekked a lonely caravan Men on camels, two by two Destination: Timbuktu.”
The crowd went crazy. No way could the redneck top this, they thought.
The redneck, with sweat rolled down his face, made his way to the microphone and said:
“A friend and I a hunting went, We spied three maidens in a tent, They being three, we being two, I bucked one and Tim bucked two.”
Two guys went to a gas station that was holding a contest: a chance to win free sex when you filled your tank. They pumped their gas and went to pay the male attendant.