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woman,watering
A woman came up behind her husband while he was enjoying his morning coffee and slapped him on the back of the head.

"I found a piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name 'Marylou' written on it," she said, furious. "You had better have an explanation."

"Calm down, honey," the man replied. "Remember last week when I was at the dog track? That was the name of the dog I bet on."

The next morning, his wife snuck up on him and smacked him again.

"What was that for?" he complained.

"Your dog called last night."

60    


A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

16    

woman,roses

What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?

His wife is good at picking out clothes.

44    

woman,roses

woman,roses
There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side.

His eyes fluttered open and he said: "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again.

His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said: "You're cute!"

Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of "beautiful" it was "cute."

She said: "What happened to 'beautiful'?"

He replied: "The drugs are wearing off!"

13    


The husband returns home from the office. He kisses his wife, then spots the cat. Horrified he asks what happened to the cats fur?

His wife replied: "You told me to shave the pussy and there it is."

6    

cat

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