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woman,watering
"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."

"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"

"I know all that."

"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"

"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."

44    


My husband said he wanted more space.

So I locked him outside.

62    

caveman,food

How can you tell if your husband is dead?

The sex is the same but you get to use the remote.

64    

caveman,television

woman,roses
Husband and Wife on 10th anniversary. The wife undresses and says: "What did you think when I stripped 10 years ago?"

He says: "I wanted to fuck your brains out and suck your tits dry".

She says: "What are you thinking now?"

"Looks like I did a pretty good job!"

101    


Why are husbands like lawn mowers?

They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time.

38    

man,calling

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