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man,calling
A little boy wakes up three nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents bedroom. Finally, one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noise and when I look in you're bouncing up and down on him."

His mom is taken by surprise and says. "Oh ... well I'm bouncing on his stomach because he's fat and that makes him thin again."

The boy says, "That won't work."

His mom says, "Why?"

The boy replies. "Because the lady next door comes by after you leave each day and blows him back up!"

88    


woman,roses
Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"

His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's ass and say, 'How about a blowjob?' ... and she's always sound asleep."

23    


What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?

You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!

81    

woman,roses

girl,bikini:6
A woman comes into a hardware store.

"May I help you ma'am?"

"Yes, please, I need a three inch door hinge."

"Do you wanna screw for it?"

"No thanks," she responds, "but I'll blow you for that clock radio over there."

26    


roses,yellow
A young minister prepares to go to bed with his bride on their wedding night. Upon entering the bedroom he sees her lying down on the bed. Ever conscious of his duties to the Lord, he exclaims,

"Woman, don't you know that you should be on your knees?"

Her suprised reply: "Well, OK, if that's what you want. But I always get hiccups when I do it that way."

11    






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