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Urine · Computer · Wives · Daugthers · Dogs · Elbows
/x/star_l2.png/x/star_l2.png/x/star_l2.png/x/star_l2.png/x/star_l1.png

woman,rosesA man complained to his friend, "My elbow hurts. I better go to the doctor."

"Don't do that," volunteered his friend, "there's a new computer at the drugstore that can diagnose any problem quicker and cheaper than a doctor. All you have to do is put in a urine sample, deposit $10, then the computer will give you your diagnosis and plan of treatment."

The man figured he had nothing to lose, so he took a sample of urine down to the drugstore. Finding the machine, he poured in the urine and deposited $10. The machine began to buzz and various lights flashed on and off. After a short pause, a slip of paper popped out on which was printed:

You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water twice a day. Avoid heavy labor. Your elbow will be better in two weeks.

That evening as the man contemplated this breakthrough in medical science, he began to suspect fraud. To test his theory he mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and teenage daughter. To top it all off, he masturbated into the jar. He took this concoction down to the drugstore, poured it in the machine and deposited $10. The machine went through the same buzzing and flashing routine as before then printed out the following message:

Your tap water has lead. Get a filter.
Your dog has worms. Give him vitamins.
Your daughter is on drugs. Get her in rehab.
Your wife is pregnant. It's not your baby. Get a lawyer.
And if you don't stop jerking off your tennis elbow will never get better.

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Sheba /x/star_s2.png/x/star_s2.png/x/star_s2.png/x/star_s2.png/x/star_s2.png2 months ago

I heard this joke twenty years ago but it was the doctor who told him through urinalysis, as that was before computers were in every home. Oops, dating myself.
vijay /x/star_s2.png/x/star_s2.png/x/star_s2.png/x/star_s2.png/x/star_s2.png3 months ago

its funny computer
Riki /x/star_s2.png/x/star_s2.png/x/star_s2.png/x/star_s2.png/x/star_s2.png7 months ago

lol, this joke is great :D 5stars
nibbles /x/star_s2.png/x/star_s2.png/x/star_s2.png/x/star_s2.png/x/star_s2.png9 months ago

haha this woz v funny :) dont matter if it woz not published by windows
xCuppycake /x/star_s2.png/x/star_s2.png/x/star_s2.png/x/star_s2.png/x/star_s2.png1 year ago

Haha, I like this one :P

Smart computer XD
Pat /x/star_s2.png/x/star_s2.png/x/star_s2.png/x/star_s2.png/x/star_s2.png1 year ago

very funny
Bored at Work1 year ago

Bob you must be correct
Amy1 year ago

Clever computer lol
Bob1 year ago

This computer was obviously not designed by windows
Bob1 year ago

This computer was obviously not designed by windows
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