walks into a bar
and demands to know "Who's the strongest
The toughest guy looks at him and says "I am the strongest around here!"
The other guy politely asks "Can you help me push my car
to the gas station?"
Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their lives.
The first guy said, "I'm a YUPPIE. You know, Young Urban Professional."
The second guy responded, "I'm a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids."
They then asked the woman, "What are you?"
She replied: "I'm a WIFE. You know, Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc."
What's the difference between a bar and a clitoris?
Most men have no trouble finding a bar.
What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
They are married.
Yo momma is so fat, when she crosses the street, cars look out for her.
I went to a couple of car dealerships last week. At first I stopped at was Kia. Well nothing caught my eye, but the price was right.
Then I went to a Ford dealer. I didn't really find anything I liked, but every car had a pair of shoes in the trunk.
At last I went to the Chevy dealer. Well I see one that I like. The dealer does the once over with me, then he pops the trunk. Disapointed, I looked at the dealer and said: "Well, theres something missing."
The dealer puzzled asks: "What?"
I said: "At the Ford dealership I checked out, they had a new pair of shoes in the trunk of every car!"
Smiling the dealer says: "That's so they can walk home!"More jokes