A farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine. Since he bought it when his wife was out of town, he decided to test it on himself first.20 0
So, he inserted his manhood into the equipment, turned the switch on and everything else was automatic.
Soon, he realized that the equipment provided him with much more pleasure than his wife did.
There after he quickly realized that he couldn't seperate himself from the instrument. He read the manual but didn't find a way out. He tried every button on the instrument, but still nothing seem to work
Finally, the farmer decided to call the supplier's Customer Service Hot Line.
"Hello, I just bought a milking machine from your company. It works fantastic, but how do I remove it from the cow's udder?"
"Don't worry", replied the customer service "The machine will release automatically once it's collected two gallons!"
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you breathe through that thing?
A man says to his wife: "Tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time."
His wife replies: "You have a bigger willy than your brother!"
What does a Rubik's Cube and a penis have in common?
The longer you play with them, the harder they get.
There is a little boy and a little girl in the woods. The little girl asked the boy, "What is a penis?" The boy replied, "I don't know." At that time he hears his mum calling him for lunch. He goes home and eats his lunch. Then he sees his dad on the couch. He goes up to his dad and ask him, "What is a penis?" The dad whips his out and says to the boy, "This is a penis, as a matter of fact this is the perfect penis."
The boy leaves to go find his friend and brings her to the woods. The girl again asks him what a penis is. He whips out his penis and says to her, "This is a penis, and if it was two inches smaller it would be the perfect penis!"
The teacher walked into the classroom to find the word "penis" chalked in small letters on the board. She was a bit embarrassed, so she didn't say anything, but rubbed it out and went on with the class.
But the next day when she came in, she found the same thing again - "penis", this time written slightly larger. So she rubbed it out again, and went on with the lesson.
Again next day, in larger letters, there was the word "penis" again. With a red face she rubbed it out and went on with the lesson.
Well, this went on for a whole week, every day the word penis getting bigger.
Finally, on Friday she went into the classroom to find chalked up: "See, the harder you rub it, the bigger it gets!"More jokes