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Joke 3974

lawyers · cemeteries · death



Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetary.

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A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the devil.

As he passed sulphurous pits and shrieking sinners, he saw a man he recognized as a lawyer snuggling up to a beautiful woman.

"That's unfair!" he cried. "I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer gets to spend it with a beautiful woman."

"Shut up", barked the devil, jabbing the man with his pitchfork.

"Who are you to question that woman's punishment?"




How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.




What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start! (Unless you are an environmentalist; then you would consider this indiscriminate dumping of hazardous waste.)




A Dublin lawyer died in poverty and many barristers of the city subscribed to a fund for his funeral.

The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury was asked to donate a shilling.

"Only a shilling?" said the Justice, "Only a shilling to bury an attorney? Here's a guinea - go and bury 20 more of them."




What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?

About three pounds, including the urn.








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