One day two boys were walking through the woods
when they saw some rabbit shit
. One of the boys said: "What is that?"
pills," said the other boy "Eat them and they'll make you smarter."
So he ate them and said: "These taste like shit."
"See," said the other boy, "you're already getting smarter."
A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said: "Let's talk, I am sure that flights are faster if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
The little girl who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and asked the stranger, "What would you like to talk about?"
"Oh, I don't know", said the stranger.
"How about nuclear power?" The girl asked.
"Ok," he said "That could be an interesting topic!"
The girl continues: "But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat grass, the same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"
"The stranger thinks about it and says:"Hmmm, I have no idea."
To which the little girl replies:"Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"
What did one gay sperm say to the other?
How do we get out of this shit?
Pete and Mary were walking home from the pub when Mary says: "I need a piss" an goes behind a bush and drops her knickers.
Feeling horny, Pete puts his hand through the bush and feels something dangling between Mary's legs. He says "have you changed sex?"
Mary says "no, I have changed my mind, I am having a shit!"
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me ..."
Why are men like laxatives?
They can irritate the shit out of you.More jokes