A bloke walks into a bar
and orders 10 double whiskys and downs them in one.
Barman: "What's up?"
Bloke: "My youngest son just told me he's gay
Next day he goes in and orders 15 double whiskys.
Barman: "What's up now?"
Bloke: "Just found out my oldest son is gay!"
Next day he goes in and orders 20 double whiskys.
Barman: "Fuck me! Does no one in your family like pussies?"
Bloke: "Yes - my wife!"
What did one gay sperm say to the other?
How do we get out of this shit?
A man and his dog walk into a bar. The man proclaims, "I'll bet you a round of drinks that my dog can talk."
Bartender: "Yeah! Sure ... go ahead."
Man: "What covers a house?"
Man: "How does sandpaper feel?"
Man: "Who was the greatest baseball player of all time?"
Man: "Pay up. I told you he could talk."
The bartender, annoyed at this point, throws both of them out the door. Sitting on the sidewalk, the dog looks at the guy and says, "or is the greatest player Mantle?"
One Sunday afternoon, a guy walks into a bar with his pet dog. The bartender said, "Sorry, pal. No pets allowed."
The man replied, "This is a special dog. Turn on the Jets game and you'll see."
The bartender, anxious to see what will happen, turned on the game.
The guy said, "Watch. Whenever the Jets score, my dog does flips." The Jets keep scoring field goals and the dog keeps flipping and jumping.
"Wow! That's one hell of a dog you got there. What happens when the Jets score a touchdown?" asked the bartender.
The man replied, "I don't know. I've only had him for seven years."
A dog walks into this bar, jumps up on the stool and says to the bartender, "Hey barkeep, it's my birthday today. How 'bout a free drink?"
The bartender turns, looks at the dog and nods his head, "Sure pal, toilet's right down the hall."
Two vampires walked into a bar and called for the bartender.
"I'll have a glass of blood," said one.
"I'll have a glass of plasma," said the other.
"Okay," replied the bartender, "That'll be one blood and one blood lite."More jokes