A man goes to see a wizard
and says: "Can you lift a curse
that was put on me years ago?"
"Maybe" says the wizard, "If you can remember the exact words of the curse."
The man replies without hesitation: "I now pronounce you as man and wife!"
Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?
Because they are tired of using their own.→ Joke
"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."
"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"
"I know all that."
"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"
"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."→ Joke
At a session with a marriage counselor, the wife snapped at her husband: "That's not true! I do so enjoy sex!"
Then, turning to the counselor, she explained: "But this animal expects it four or five times a year!"→ Joke
Husband and Wife on 10th anniversary. The wife undresses and says: "What did you think when I stripped 10 years ago?"
He says: "I wanted to fuck your brains out and suck your tits dry".
She says: "What are you thinking now?"
"Looks like I did a pretty good job!"→ Joke
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."→ JokeMore jokes