A lady in labour
is shouting the usual stuff: "Get this out of me!", "Give me the drugs!",... She turns to her boyfriend and says: "You did this to me you bastard!"
He replies casually: "If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your arse
but you said 'Fuck Off! It'll be too painful!' Not laughing now are we!?"
Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxers rather than briefs?
Yes, but you'll have an even better chance if he doesn't wear anything at all.→ Joke
Two Greeks chat.
Costa: "Did you ever fuck your girlfriend in the other hole?"
Spiros: "You are fuckin mad. I don’t want to make her pregnant!"→ Joke
Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different!
The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earline got pregnant.
Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earline got pregnant again.
Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earline didn't get pregnant again."
Luther asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?"
Billy Bob says, "This year I'm taking Earline with me."→ Joke
I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
With any luck, right after it finishes college.→ Joke
Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar. One complained to the other, "Boy, business sucks. If I don't sell more cars this month, I'm going to lose my fucking ass!"
Too late - he noticed a beautiful blonde, sitting two stools away. Immediately, he offered apologies for his use of bad language.
"That's okay," the blonde replied, "I have a very similar problem ... If I don't sell more ass this month, I'm going to lose my fucking car!"→ JokeMore jokes