at the pub
went up to the bartender
and asked, "Have you been fooling around with the waitress
"Oh no, sir, I sure haven't," replied the bartender.
The boss replied, "Good, then you fire
A Chinese man rings his boss and says: Me sick I cann`t come to work.
The Boss says: "when I am sick, I fuck my wife ... try that?"
Two hours later the Chinese man rings back and says: "Me better now you got a nice house!"
Chinese: "Me not come to work, me sick."
Boss: "When I'm sick I have sex with my wife, try it."
Later chinese called back: "It worked. Me better. You got nice house!"
Boss: "Experts say humor on the job relieves tension in this time of downsizing. Knock! Knock!"
Employee: "Who's there?"
Boss: "Not you anymore!"
Pete and Mary were walking home from the pub when Mary says: "I need a piss" an goes behind a bush and drops her knickers.
Feeling horny, Pete puts his hand through the bush and feels something dangling between Mary's legs. He says "have you changed sex?"
Mary says "no, I have changed my mind, I am having a shit!"More jokes