A man went to the doctor.
The doctor examined him and said: "I'm sorry to have to tell you this - but you only have three minutes left to live."
The man said: "Oh my god! Are you sure there is nothing you can do for me?"
The doctor thought for a moment then replied: "I could boil you an egg!"→ Joke
A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Porsche back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!
A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.
The moral of the story:
If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Porsche to pick up chicks!→ Joke
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer!→ Joke
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn't exist yet.→ Joke
Two Kentuckians are walking down different ends of a street toward each other, and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy Ray, what'cha got in th' bag?"
"Jus' some chickens."
"If I guesses how many they are, can I have one?"
"Shoot, ya guesses right and I'll give you both of them."
"OK. Ummmmm ... five?"→ JokeMore jokes