How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer.
Two frat boys were stranded at sea in a life boat. On the 4th day, a mermaid came up out of the water and offered them one wish to save their lives.
The frat boys thought about it and one shouted out,"I wish the ocean was a sea of beer." And it happened.
A litle while later the other one shouted,"Great, now we have to pee in the boat!"
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
What do men and beer have in common?
They're both empty from the neck up.
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replies in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"More jokes