There are four kinds of sex
HOUSE SEX: You and your spouse are newlyweds and you fuck all over the house.BEDROOM
SEX: You and your spouse have been married for a few years, have settled down, and only fuck in the bedroom.
HALL SEX: You and your spouse have been married for fifteen years and say, "Fuck you!" when you pass in the hall.
COURTROOM SEX: You and your spouse have been married for twenty years, your spouse's lawyer
fucks you out of everything you've got.
Yo momma is so fat, everytime she farts people think there's an earthquake!
A girlfriend asked: "If my left leg was breakfast and my right leg was lunch what would you prefer"?
Boyfriend says: "Eating between meals!"
Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time!
What have clouds and men got in common?
When they finally fuck off, it’s a very nice day!
A blonde gets home early from shopping and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs to find her husband naked on the bed, sweating and panting. "What's up?" she asks.
"I'm having a heart attack," cries the husband.
The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she's dialling, her four-year-old son comes up and says, "Mommy! Mommy! Aunt Shirley is hiding in your closet, and she's got no clothes on!"
The blonde slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, right past her husband, and rips open the closet door. Sure enough, there is her sister, totally naked and cowering on the closet floor. "You rotten Bitch", she screams. "My husband's having a heart attack, and you're running around naked scaring the kids!"More jokes