Two frat boys were stranded at sea in a life boat. On the 4th day, a mermaid came up out of the water and offered them one wish
to save their lives.
The frat boys thought about it and one shouted out,"I wish the ocean was a sea of beer
." And it happened.
A litle while later the other one shouted,"Great, now we have to pee
in the boat!"
An Irishman is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it. Out pops a genie. It says: "I will give you three wishes."
The man thinks awhile. Finally he says: "I want a beer that never is empty."
With that, the genie makes a poof sound and on the bar is a bottle of beer. The Irishman starts drinking it and right before it is gone, it starts to refill. The genie asks about his next two wishes.
The man says: "I want two more of these."
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
What do men and beer have in common?
They're both empty from the neck up.
There's a big conference of beer producers. At the end of the day, the presidents of all beer companies decide to have a drink in a bar.
The president of 'Budweiser' orders a Bud, the president of 'Miller' orders a Miller Lite, Adolph Coors orders a Coors, and the list goes on. Then the waitress asks Arthur Guinness what he wants to drink, and much to everybody's amazement, Mr. Guinness orders a Coke!
"Why don't you order a Guinness?" his colleagues ask.
"Naah. If you guys won't drink beer, then neither will I."
How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer.More jokes