was born last week. When will my wife
begin to feel and act normal again?
When the kids
are in college
I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
With any luck, right after it finishes college.
A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds "Wife Wanted".
The next day, he received hundreds of replies, all reading the same thing: "You can have mine."
What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?
His wife is good at picking out clothes.
Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their lives.
The first guy said, "I'm a YUPPIE. You know, Young Urban Professional."
The second guy responded, "I'm a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids."
They then asked the woman, "What are you?"
She replied: "I'm a WIFE. You know, Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc."
An old man was wondering if his wife had a hearing problem. So one night, he stood behind her while she was sitting in her lounge chair.
He spoke softly to her, "Honey, can you hear me?" There was no response.
He moved a little closer and said again, "Honey, can you hear me?" Still, there was no response.
Finally he moved right behind her and said, "Honey, can you hear me?"
She replied, "For the third time, Yes!"More jokes