A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
A man was walking down the street when he saw a woman with the perfect, and I mean PERFECT, breasts he'd ever seen.
He walked up to her and said, "Ma'am, you have perfect breasts, and I will pay you $100 to bite them." The woman was horrified and began to walk away.
The man caught her and said, "Alright, I'll pay you $1,000 to bite your breasts." Still horrified, the woman began to run away.
The man caught her again and said, "Fine. I'll pay you $10,000 to bite your breasts, and not a penny more." The woman then thinks that $10,000 will be worth it, so she finally agreed.
They went into a deserted alley away from the city action. The woman took off her shirt and bra, revealing the perfect breasts. The man then began to touch, squeeze, fondle, poke, and everything to the woman's breasts EXCEPT biting them.
The woman then said, "Well, are you gonna bite them or not?!"
The man replied, "Nah, too expensive."
Man: "Hey, baby, if you come home with me, I can show you a really good time."
Woman: "You know what your problem is? Your mouth is writing checks that your body can't cash."
What are a woman's four favorite animals?
A mink in the closet, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bedroom, and an ass to pay for it all.
Men are born between the legs of women and spend all their life trying to get back between them. Why?
Theres no place like home ...More jokes