: "Experts say humor
on the job
relieves tension in this time of downsizing. Knock! Knock!"Employee
: "Who's there?"
Boss: "Not you anymore!"
A Chinese man rings his boss and says: Me sick I cann`t come to work.
The Boss says: "when I am sick, I fuck my wife ... try that?"
Two hours later the Chinese man rings back and says: "Me better now you got a nice house!"
Employer to applicant: "In this job we need someone who is responsible."
Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
Chinese: "Me not come to work, me sick."
Boss: "When I'm sick I have sex with my wife, try it."
Later chinese called back: "It worked. Me better. You got nice house!"
The boss at the pub went up to the bartender and asked, "Have you been fooling around with the waitress?!"
"Oh no, sir, I sure haven't," replied the bartender.
The boss replied, "Good, then you fire her!"
In a small town in the US, there is a rather sizable factory that hires only married men. Concerned about this, a local woman called on the manager and asked him, "Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you think women are weak, dumb, cantankerous ... or what?"
"Not at all, Ma'am," the manager replied. "It is because our employees are used to obeying orders, are accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut and don't pout when I yell at them."More jokes