Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time.
Why didn't the husband change the baby for a week?
Because the text on the diapers package said '18-40 lbs'.
What do you do if your best friend runs off with your husband?
Miss her. Pity her.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
1) After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
2) A dog only takes a couple of months to train.
My husband said he wanted more space.
So I locked him outside.More jokes