How can you tell when a violist is playing out of tune?
The bow is moving.→ Joke
Why don't violists play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.→ Joke
Why do violists leave their instrument cases on the dashboards of their cars?
1) So they can park in "handicapped" parking places.
2) If someone mistakes them for mafia, they might get some respect.→ Joke
How do you get a violist to play a passage pianissimo tremolando?
Mark it "solo".→ Joke
What's the definition of a minor second?
Two violists playing in unison.→ JokeMore jokes