A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he does'nt.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
What's the difference between a marriage and a mental hospital?
At a mental hospital you have to show improvement to get out.
What is the difference between marriage and death?
Dead people are free.
Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?
Because they are tired of using their own.
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."
He addressed the man, "Can you describe your wife's favourite flower?"
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's self-rising, isn't it?"
The rest of the story gets rather ugly, so I'll stop right here.More jokes