You find yourself stuck in a hole
with a murderer
, a rapist
, and a lawyer
. You're armed but you only have 2 bullets left, what do you do?Shoot
the lawyer. Twice.
How do you save a drowning lawyer?
1. Take your foot off his head.
2. Shoot him before he hits the water.→ Joke
A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the devil.
As he passed sulphurous pits and shrieking sinners, he saw a man he recognized as a lawyer snuggling up to a beautiful woman.
"That's unfair!" he cried. "I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer gets to spend it with a beautiful woman."
"Shut up", barked the devil, jabbing the man with his pitchfork.
"Who are you to question that woman's punishment?"→ Joke
What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?
A gigolo only screws one person at a time.→ Joke
How is an apple like a lawyer?
They both look good hanging from a tree.→ Joke
What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?
About three pounds, including the urn.→ JokeMore jokes