Ranger was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana and he wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes
in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors
were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the Ranger shouted, "maybe I'll just go out and get my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes made at a reasonable price!"
The vendor said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you will run into a couple of Marines
who were in here earlier saying the same thing."
So the Ranger headed into the bayou that same day and a few hours later came upon two men standing waist deep in the water. He thought, "those must be the two Marines the guy in town was talking about." Just then, the Ranger saw a tremendously long aligator swimming rapidly underwater towards one of the Marines.
Just as the aligator was about to attack, the Marine grabbed its neck with both hands and strangled it to death with very little effort. Then both Marines dragged it on shore and flipped it on its back. Laying nearby were several more of the creatures.
One of the Marines then exclaimed, "Damn, this one doesn't have any shoes either!"
A blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes, but didn't want to pay the high prices.
After unsuccessfully haggling with of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde said, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator, so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price."
Later in the day, the shopkeeper spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. She took aim at an alligator, killed it and hauled it onto the swamp bank.
Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement as the blonde flipped the alligator on its back and shouted in frustration, "Damn, this one isn't wearing any shoes either."→ Joke
At an army training camp in Florida, the sergeant is giving a talk: "The main quality we look for in this army is commitment and this is what I call commitment." An alligator came in the room and bit the sergeants penis. It stayed there for about a 10 seconds then the seargent poked it in the eyes and kicked it off.
"Now who's ready to show their commitment?" said the sergeant. A man put his hand up and said "I will, but promise you won't poke me in the eyes."→ Joke
Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, "Why do you want to join the Navy, son?"
"My father said it'd be a good idea, Sir."
"Oh? And what does your father do?"
"He's in the Army, Sir."→ Joke
An Army Captain is assigned to a remote desert post in Iraq. During inspection, he notices a camel tied up outside the barracks. He asks the soldier, "why is that camel there?"
The soldier says: "There are 250 men here and no women. Sometimes men get urges."
A month later the Captian has urges himself. He puts the ladder behind the camel, drops his trousers and has sex with the camel. He asks the soldier: "Is that how the men do it?"
"No sir, they usually ride it to the brothel!"→ Joke
On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle.
One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?" The tower responded, "Who is calling?" The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?" The tower replied "It makes a lot of difference.
1) If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock.
2) If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours.
3) If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells.
4) If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3.
5) If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon and 120 minutes to "Happy Hour."→ JokeMore jokes