Why do women
rub their eyes
when they wake up?
Because they don't have balls
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you already told her twice!
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me ..."
What is the difference between men and women?
A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need.
A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the begining of a new argument.
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN
Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, wine and dine her, buy gifts for her, listen to her, respect her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her.
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN
Arrive naked ... with beer.More jokes