walked into a bar
and called for the bartender
"I'll have a glass of blood
," said one.
"I'll have a glass of plasma
," said the other.
"Okay," replied the bartender, "That'll be one blood and one blood lite."
What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A vampire only sucks blood at night.
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A man walked into a Florida bar with his alligator and asked the bartender:
"Do you serve lawyers here?"
"Good. One beer for me and a lawyer for my alligator."
A dog walks into this bar, jumps up on the stool and says to the bartender, "Hey barkeep, it's my birthday today. How 'bout a free drink?"
The bartender turns, looks at the dog and nods his head, "Sure pal, toilet's right down the hall."
A bloke walks into a bar and orders 10 double whiskys and downs them in one.
Barman: "What's up?"
Bloke: "My youngest son just told me he's gay".
Next day he goes in and orders 15 double whiskys.
Barman: "What's up now?"
Bloke: "Just found out my oldest son is gay!"
Next day he goes in and orders 20 double whiskys.
Barman: "Fuck me! Does no one in your family like pussies?"
Bloke: "Yes - my wife!"More jokes