The First Law
: For every philosopher
, there exists an equal and opposite philosopher.
The Second Law of Philosophy: They're both wrong.
Don't LOOK at anything in a physics lab.
Don't TASTE anything in a chemistry lab.
Don't SMELL anything in a biology lab.
Don't TOUCH anything in a medical lab.
and, most importantly:
Don't LISTEN to anything in a philosophy department.
What is the difference between baseball and law?
In baseball, if you're caught stealing, you're out.
Final philosophy exam:
Is this a question?
If this is an answer!
A philosophy professor walks in to give his class their final. Placing his chair on his desk the professor instructs the class, "Using every applicable thing you've learned in this course, prove to me that this chair DOES NOT EXIST."
So, pencils are writing and erasers are erasing, students are preparing to embark on novels proving that this chair doesn't exist, except for one student. He spends thirty seconds writing his answer, then turns his final in to the astonishment of his peers.
Time goes by, and the day comes when all the students get their final grades ... and to the amazment of the class, the student who wrote for thirty seconds gets the highest grade in the class.
His answer to the question: "What chair?"
"A philosopher," said the theologian, "is like a blind man in a darkened room looking for a black cat that isn't there."
"That's right," the philosopher replied, "and if he were a theologian, he'd find it."More jokes