A young married couple has difficulties conceiving a baby
, so after a while the wife consults her doctor
, who recommends the minor of three possible operations
The operation is performed, but a couple of months later, she's still not pregnant
, so she goes to see the doctor again. This time he recommends the medium operation, a somewhat more serious operation, but still not as complicated as the third alternative.
But, there's still no result, and another couple of months later she's back in the doctor's office, and this time she gets the big one. After having recovered in some weeks, the couple resumes normal marital activities, and this time they actually succeed in conceiving a baby.
Filled with joy, the young wife now sees the doctor for the regular examination during pregnancy and says, "We're so happy doctor, we're finally having a baby. But what was this third operation actually all about? The first two weren't that bad, but this last one I think must have been quite a job, I was dizzy for weeks after."
"Well," the doctor replies, "since the first two standard operations failed, we started suspecting your method rather than your ability, so I made a connection from your throat to your uterus."
What do you get when you cross a blonde
and a lawyer
1) There are some things even a blonde won't do.
2) Something that when it gives you a blow job, it won't stop until it gets blood.
Little Patrik asked for a bike
for his Birthday
. His dad said: "We'd get you one but your mortgage
is $80,000 and your mum has lost her job."
Next day Patrick walked out with his suitcase packed, his dad asks: "Where you going son?"
Patrick replied: "I walked past your room last night and heard you tell mum you were pulling out, then I heard mum tell you to wait coz she was comintoo, I'm not staying here on me own with an $80,000 mortgage and no fucking bike!"
A young minister
prepares to go to bed with his bride on their wedding night. Upon entering the bedroom he sees her lying down on the bed. Ever conscious of his duties to the Lord, he exclaims,
"Woman, don't you know that you should be on your knees?"
Her suprised reply: "Well, OK, if that's what you want. But I always get hiccups
when I do it that way."