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Meeting rules for managers:

1) Never arrive on time, or you will be stamped a beginner.
2) Don't say anything until the meeting is half over; this stamps you as being wise.
3) Be as vague as possible; this prevents irritating the others.
4) When in doubt, suggest that a subcommittee be appointed.
5) Be the first to move for adjournment; this will make you popular - it's what everyone is waiting for.

22     manager jokes


What not to say to the nice policeman:

Hey, you must've been doing about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good Job!

12     policeman jokes


What not to say to the nice policeman:

I pay your salary!

10     policeman jokes


Why are all the unemployed in Palm Beach County, Florida sitting on the dock?

An elections official said he needed help to count votes, and they all thought he said he needed help to count boats!

7     Florida jokes


The teacher in Johnny's school asked the class what their parents did for a living.

One little girl said her father was a doctor, another said her mother was an engineer.

When it was Little Johnny's turn, he stood up and said "My mom's a whore."

Naturally, after that remark, he got sent off to the principal's office. Then, 15 minutes later, he returned.

So the teacher asked "Did you tell the principal what you said in class?"

Johnny said, "Yes."

"Well, what did the principal say?"

"He said that every job is important in our economy, gave me a pocket full of lollies and asked for my phone number ..."

64     Little Johnny jokes






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