| Golf · Jesus · Gods · PriestsA priest, Jesus, and an old man tee off.
The priest drives the green within 5 yards of the hole.
Jesus slices the ball and it goes into the water hazard. He quickly runs across the water and hits his second onto the green 2 inches from the hole.
The old man tees off with a short worm burner that trickles into the hazard. Soon after a fish eats the ball and swims across the pond with it in its mouth. Just then an eagle swoops down and snatches the fish with the golf ball and flies off. The eagle loses its grip and drops the fish on the green. The fish then spits out the ball and it rolls into the hole for a hole in one.
Jesus turns to the old man and replies, "Play fair dad!" |
· Details | Sex · Gods · Men · Children · Jesus · Cheating Little Johnny came home from school to see the family's pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor Mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Johnny said, "Dad our rooster is dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?"
His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven."
"Gee Dad that's great," said Little Johnny. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Johnny rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!"
"What do you mean?" said Dad.
"Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming,"Jesus I'm coming, I'm coming"If it hadn't of been for Uncle George holding her down we'd have lost her for sure!" |
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| | Pope · Jesus · St. Peter · GodThe Pope arrives in heaven, where St. Peter awaites him. St. Peter asks who he is.
The Pope: "I am the pope."
St. Peter: "Who? There's no such name in my book."
The Pope: "I'm the representative of God on Earth."
St.Peter: "Does God have a representative? He didn't tell me ..."
The Pope: "But I am the leader of the Catholic Church ..."
St. Peter: "The Catholic church ... Never heard of it ... Wait, I'll check with the boss."
St. Peter walks away through Heaven's Gate to talk with God.
St. Peter: "There's a dude standing outside who claims he's your representative on earth."
God: "I don't have a representative on earth, not that I know of ... Wait, I'll ask Jesus." (yells for Jesus)
Jesus: "Yes father, what's up?"
God and St. Peter explain the situation.
Jesus: "Wait, I'll go outside and have a little chat with that fellow."
Ten minutes pass and Jesus reenters the room laughing out loud. After a few minutes St. Peter asks Jesus why he's laughing.
Jesus: "Remember that fishing club I've started 2000 years ago? It still exists!" |
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| Wives · Jerusalem · Men · Dead · Deaths · Jesus A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker
told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150." The man
thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.
The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and
you would spend only $150?"
The man replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can’t take
that chance." |
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