11 jokes about irish
Bono13 → Joke
is up on stage with U2 doing a gig at Wembley, when the song finishes he starts to slowly clap
his hands and says into the microphone: "Every time I clap my hands a child in Africa dies!"
A voice near the front of the stage shouts to bono in a Irish accent: "Well stop fucking clapping then!"
9 → Joke
The Fire Brigade were trying to rescue an Irishman from the 10th floor of a burning building.Fireman
shouts: "Jump and we'll catch you in this blanket!"
Irishman replies: "Fuck off, I don't trust you, lay it on the floor!"
11 → Joke
walks into a pub
in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back."
The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan's offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?" asks the Irishman
The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses drinking
them all back-to-back.
The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If ya don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?"
The Irishman replies, "Oh ... I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first."
16 → Joke
’s worst air disaster
occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane
crashed into a cemetery
"Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies
so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into
27 → Joke
is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it. Out pops a genie
. It says: "I will give you three wishes
The man thinks awhile. Finally he says: "I want a beer
that never is empty."
With that, the genie makes a poof sound and on the bar is a bottle of beer. The Irishman starts drinking it and right before it is gone, it starts to refill. The genie asks about his next two wishes.
The man says: "I want two more of these."