40 jokes about idiots
5 → Joke
was the first one to Mars
, that's why there are no signs of life
9 → Joke
is on a four-engine plane
crossing the Atlantic.
All of a sudden there's a loud bang. The pilot
announces over the intercom “I'm sorry, one of our engines
has just shut off. We'll be delayed 45 minutes.”
Suddenly there's another bang. Once again, the intercom clicks on and the pilot expresses his regret that they'll be delayed two hours.
Shortly thereafter, there is third bang and the pilot announces that they'll be delayed 3 hours.
The blonde turns to the guy sitting beside her and says, “Man, if the fourth engine shuts off we'll be up here all day.”
13 → Joke
is so fat
when she was lying on the beach
Green Peace tried to push her back in the water.
10 → Joke
comes home from a tough day of work looking to unwind. After a relaxing dinner with his wife
, they retired to bed. So, both go to their separate beds, however the man was not yet ready to slumber. The man called over to his wife, "My little boopey-boo, I'm lonely." So the woman gets out of bed and crosses the room to the husband
. On the way she trips on the carpet and falls on her face. The husband with a concerned look on his face says, "Oh, did my little honey-woney fall on her little nosey-wosey?"
The woman gets up and enters the man's bed. The two make passionate love
and afterwards the women rolls out. As she is returning to her bed, she once again catches her foot on the carpet and falls flat on her face. The man looks over his shoulder at his wife lying on the floor and says, "Clumsy
11 → Joke
Jim had an awful day fishing
on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He told the fish salesman
, "Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?"
"Why do you want me to throw them at you?"
"Because I want to tell my wife
that I caught them."
"Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange trout."
"Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, I should tell you to take orange trout. That's what she'd like for supper