Jokes - Husbands
Husband Jokes
Husbands 3 Quotes |
 A man sits in a bar, reading a newspaper. Suddenly he is tapped on his shoulder by another man: "Excuse me sir, but do you know Mrs. Appleblossom?"The man folds up his newspaper, coughs slightly and replies: "just a moment sir", after which he takes out a little black notebook. "A, A, A... [finding the name in the book] yes, actually I do know Mrs. Appleblossom.". He puts the notebook back into his inside pocket picks up the newspaper and continues reading. The other man taps his shoulder again: "Excuse me sir, but have you been to bed with Mrs. Appleblossom?" The first gent puts the newspaper down again, finds his notebook and checks: "B, B, B... ahh, yes, I have been to bed with Mrs. Appleblossom" He starts putting the notebook away when he once again is tapped on the shoulder: "Excuse me sir, but I am Mr. Appleblossom, and I am very disappointed" "D, D, D... ahh... yes sir, so was I!" 3 Comments · Single View  A woman came up behind her husband while he was enjoying his morning coffee and slapped him on the back of the head."I found a piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name 'Marylou' written on it," she said, furious. "You had better have an explanation." "Calm down, honey," the man replied. "Remember last week when I was at the dog track? That was the name of the dog I bet on." The next morning, his wife snuck up on him and smacked him again. "What was that for?" he complained. "Your dog called last night." 5 Comments · Single View  A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the counter.She started talking to him, and tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, "You know that fur coat you promised me Irving?" She answered by saying, "I bought it with the insurance money!" She then said, "Irving, remember that new car you promised me?" She answered again saying, "Well, I bought it with the insurance money!" Still tracing her finger in the ashes, she said, "Irving remember that blow job I promised you? Here it comes ..." 4 Comments · Single View  A friend and her husband were participating in a blood drive, and as part of the prescreening process, an elderly volunteer was asking some questions."Have you ever paid for sex?" the woman asked my friend's husband sweetly. Glancing wearily over at his wife who was trying to calm a new baby and tend to several other children milling around her, "Oh yes", he sighed, "Every time." 0 Comments · Single View |
